Title: All We Could Have Been
Author: T.E. Carter
Published: April 23rd, 2019
Pages: 304
Synopsis: Five years ago, Lexie walked home from school after her older brother failed to pick her up. When she entered her house, her brother sat calmly, waiting for the police to come arrest him for the heinous crime he had just committed.
Treated like a criminal herself, Lexie now moves from school to school hiding who she is—who she's related to. She struggles with loving her brother, the PTSD she now suffers from, and wanting to just live a normal life. But how can she be normal when she can’t even figure out how to just live?
This is a powerful look at the assumptions we make about people. Lexie's emotional journey to separate her brother's horrific act from herself is stunning and heartbreaking. This is Lexie’s story and journey—not her brother's—and it will stay with you long after you turn the last page.
Goodreads Rating: 3.61
My Rating: 3.00
Would I recommend?: It's complicated.
Why?: What I enjoyed about this book was that it was very raw and real about people living with PTSD and depression. At times, it was very emotional and could be seen as a trigger I’m sure for some. However, I loved that Lexie in the end faced her fears and demons in order to start living her life. I also found it very refreshing that this technically didn’t even have a “happy ending." I wouldn’t say that it abruptly ended, but it wasn’t like she ran off into the sunset with a boy. That is something I haven’t seen in a book in a very, very long time.
Now the things I didn’t enjoy so much: This book was a contradiction within itself and I’m left so confused as to how I actually feel about it. Lexie said that SHE was the one who asked her parents to leave town and take on a new identity to hide from her brother’s past. And it’s HER plan to lay low and not be noticed by anyone, not to let anyone know who she truly is. But then not even a few pages later she’s fighting with her aunt when she tells Lexie that joining drama club isn’t such a great idea because it’d put her in the spotlight - literally.
In the end, I’m left so confused. I enjoyed parts of the book, but others I just could not stand! I guess if you’re willing to, give this a go, but you’ve been warned that it could be a bust.
